nut hugger
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
