I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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