Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Success! We fucked roommates!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
