I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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