the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
