Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize