New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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