the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
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So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
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If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.