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Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He passed out mid-signature
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
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