my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
