Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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