I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
