So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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