Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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