It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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