he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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