I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
