I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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