i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize