mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize