even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
