a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Boobs are out for the taking
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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