i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
