She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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