This is not my ceiling
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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