I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sorry about my life...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
