your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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