i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
