I heard we made out
She is in my trunk
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
