It's a beautiful day for a hangover
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
