Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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