hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
