i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
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You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
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