Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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