i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
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sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
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Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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