Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
