well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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