I'd wear matching sweaters with you
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize