I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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