Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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