i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
