I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
