He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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