...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
