i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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