oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
