I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
