This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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