He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize