I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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