one two three fourrrrnication!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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