it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
