R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
