Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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