So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
