remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
