im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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