I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
