the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
