I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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