evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
